Vetting Teachers, Leaders, Mentors, Facilitators, Practitioners, Coaches, Counselors, Lovers, Companions, Partners, Friends , Ourselves
Discernment has become a prominent theme in our world as we are desperately seeking truth, authenticity and trust. It is one of the first things I introduce and model to the children and young adults I encounter. It is important from an early age that we learn ways of checking in with our selves to see if something doesn't feel right or safe to us. Trusting our gut instincts helps us bypass any trickery behind words and mental manipulation.
Hidden agendas and manipulative illusions are now rampant in media and information technology and being evermore perpetuated by AI, Image Enhancement and Holographic High-Jacking. It is also showing up in the disclosure trend where institutions and leaders that we once gave full trust are toppling like dominos. In my town of Sedona, Arizona, the number of young adults seeking spiritual direction and meaning has exponentially increased as have the casualties and fallout from groups, organizations and businesses that take advantage of their openness and trust.
The culture and energetic field of any system, organization, community, or movement is set and perpetuated by the leadership which will always have some amount of disowned shadows. The question is whether or not the leadership is publicly willing to deal with the shadows when they are reflected.
What is SAID by the leadership can seem so inspired, progressive and Divinely guided. My experience and recommendation is........Don't always trust your ears, eyes or emotions.
Always observe the Actions, Images and Power Structures that are demonstrated on the daily and in the mundane routines, especially when stressors arise that pressure any shadows to be revealed.
If you have a hunch or glimpse into a lack of cohesion between word, action and portrayal, honor it.
Observe any resistance or disappointment you may feel if you begin noticing or sensing disconnects. Often this realization will trigger feelings of self doubt, confusion, vulnerability and betrayal. Remember to allow the discomfort or anger to surface. Delve into the feelings of anger and betrayal in order to see their origins in your own personal life.
This will help decode the experience as a scenario for you to grow and to know Self.
You may feel the impulse or desire to direct the anger toward the person or organization that you have been following or encountering. You may want to collect allies for validation.
You may want to broadcast the revelation to defend justice and the protection of others.
Be aware that to put a lot of energy into these areas may dissipate the energy you need for yourself to recover and regain your personal power.
More often than not, it is not necessary to project your disillusionment and desire to expose any further than towards your own enlightenment.
However, after you understand where betrayal is in your own history, you may find that it is appropriate and empowering to speak up and out.
Make sure you have clarity in your motivation for going public and remember that everyone is responsible for their own choices and epiphanies.
The more neutral and strong you feel in sharing your experience, the less vulnerable you are to a back attack and the more effective your exposure of manipulative agendas will be.
Here are some questions and traits you might want to consider when evaluating the level of balance within an individual or an organization.
* Do they often enjoy supporting or encouraging others power and light with out an agenda
* Can they genuinely apologize
* Can they cry with honesty and not performance
* Do they like to laugh, especially at themselves
* Can they be spontaneous and random
* Are they able to experiment, explore and invite mystery
* Are they comfortably receptive to genuine attention, love and compliments
* Are they generous with their time, money, possessions, and attention with out personal gain
* Do they reflect often on their own motives
* Can they acknowledge/celebrate their successes/accomplishments without public recognition
* Do they view their experiences as reflections of their own intentions to know and to grow
* Can they be playful and silly with innocence and without attention seeking
* Do they honor and protect the privacy of self and other's time, space, thoughts, feelings, and creations.
* Are they willing to speak out when something feels manipulative without shame or blame
* Can they be silent with others
* Can they hold themselves and others accountable for behavior or actions that are not integrous
* Can they say no without judgement of right and wrong
* Do they like to engage in creative activities without a goal
* Are they comfortable being out in Nature and wilderness
* Are they willing to be messy, wild, or unadorned
* Do they tend to the natural beauty of their body and surroundings with care and love
* Are they overly image or presentation focused
* Are they able to feel expanded moments of deep love and appreciation for self
* Can they enjoy their own personal company out in public
* Can they really listen and be attentive to others
* Can they risk changing things up from their routines
* Do they take themselves out on adventures or out of their comfort zones
* Can they share their shadows, grief, confusion, anger, doubts, jealousies, shame without dramatization
* Do they often need others for validation and projection
* Are they present in their bodies with love and attention
* Can they be patient, trust timing and not rush self and others
* Can they allow their energy to be steady, consistent and neutral
* Are they flexible/resilient with their opinions/structures or do they defend, hold or impose a position
* Do they readily/authentically express their passions, enthusiasms, boldness without justification
* Can they make soft eye contact
* Is their body language grounded, balanced, calm and open or nervous, aggressive, protective, hesitant
* Is their energy looking to merge, emulate or assimilate others or does it hold it's own space
* Are they able to be respectful to self and others
* Can they feel relaxed and peaceful without doing
Aila Arya Anam
Aila hadn't planned on having children but at age 39 while in the middle of cutting a water melon, she heard an inner voice that told her to go sit down. Never had she heard such a clear instruction. As she sat on the bed in their studio apartment, she heard "You are going to have a child"